1 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,769 - ( dog barking ) - you know, mr. Randell, 2 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:08,206 We've only been out On six dates, but already I feel comfortable with you. 3 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,708 You make me feel So feminine, 4 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:14,479 Which is ironic 'cause I could snap Your neck like a twig. 5 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,218 Thanks. 6 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,153 Oh, mr. Randell. 7 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,291 ( sighs ) 8 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:33,632 Sally, do you Want to go back To my apartment? 9 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,634 Oh, I know what's Going to happen there, 10 00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,737 Uh-huh. 11 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:41,573 We'll continue To kiss and touch And kiss and touch 12 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,243 Just like the movies, And all of a sudden The scene ends, 13 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,411 And we're in the park Eating hot dogs And laughing. 14 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,751 That's such A sally thing To say. 15 00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:55,988 You're never What I expect. 16 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:58,256 Yeah, like that time You didn't have To pay for dinner 17 00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:01,760 'cause I got us thrown Out of the sizzler. 18 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,696 - like that, yeah. - but that's what you Like about me, right? 19 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:08,533 - right, right, right, Right, right? - yeah, yeah. 20 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,802 But now it's Starting to, um... 21 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,537 I don't know, 22 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,305 Irritate me. 23 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:21,012 - I'm not The perfect woman? - this close, really. 24 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:24,849 Just a couple, Three, four things You could change. 25 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:28,486 Maybe let me be In control sometimes, Just a little. 26 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,692 Well, you're going To see a whole new me. 27 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,760 ( funk music playing on radio ) 28 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,929 God, I hate that. 29 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,799 - it's gone. - ( music stops ) 30 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,241 Oh... I should have Let you do that. 31 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,410 Whoopsy doodle. 32 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,412 ( '50s rock music playing ) 33 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,145 Good-bye, basket Of kittens. 34 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,448 I can only pray that Next month's photo 35 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,217 Will bring us a fraction Of the joy and whimsy... 36 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,954 ...That you did. 37 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,763 Thank you, Bank of rutherford. 38 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,666 What? That's a monkey Playing golf. 39 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,769 I know, but he's Putting with a driver. 40 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,773 You never see Yourself clearly 41 00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:58,710 Until you see yourself Through your lover's eyes. 42 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,446 I am red freakin' hot! 43 00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,317 Good for you. And I'm a loud, Destructive, 44 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,985 Irritating pain In the butt. 45 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,088 Mr. Randell's not crazy About me anymore, dick. 46 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,957 Sally, don't tell me you're Failing at your relationship. 47 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,960 - how could you? - I don't know. 48 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,729 I thought I had this Whole woman thing aced. 49 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,764 My performance has been Technically flawless. 50 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,468 He wants me To change. 51 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,204 Well, here on earth, Humans change For their lovers. 52 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,207 August and I always Accommodate each other's Wants and needs. 53 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,275 For example, I stopped Wearing old spice, 54 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:34,278 And she's stopped Telling me to stop Wearing old spice. 55 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,314 Oh... 56 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:39,150 Don't compare My mature relationship 57 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,219 To your little "Tigerbeat" tryst. 58 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,221 Yeah, she's right. 59 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,625 Tommy, adults have far more Complicated problems. 60 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,294 Although, come to think Of it, dr. Albright And I are adults, 61 00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:51,296 And we have none. 62 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,965 I have struck Gold with her, Grabbed the prize, 63 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,867 Hit the jackpot. 64 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:58,102 Ding, ding, ding, Ding, ding, ding! 65 00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,872 You're a winner. 66 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,074 You didn't win. You lucked out. 67 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,110 Love doesn't just Drop into your lap. 68 00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:08,213 You've got to Force it there. 69 00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:11,449 I don't know, dick. I'm beginning to wonder If I've got what it takes. 70 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:14,252 Of course you've Got what it takes. You're a warrior, 71 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,755 And this is The battle Of the sexes. 72 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,823 You can win it! 73 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:20,892 I envy you. Everybody in this house 74 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,927 Has got somebody Except me. 75 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,263 But when I do make My love connection, 76 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,766 Lady beware. 77 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,535 I change for no one. 78 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,537 Harry, you sound Like an idiot. 79 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,473 And that will Never change. 80 00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:39,710 Tommy? 81 00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,713 Let's say 82 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,082 I got into this Horrible car crash, 83 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,084 And I wasn't Really hurt, 84 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:48,086 But my hair fell out From the shock. 85 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,321 Would you Still like me? 86 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:54,059 - what about the eyebrows? - gone. 87 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:56,161 Yeah, sure, I'd still Like you, of course. 88 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,396 It would take A couple of days To get used to. 89 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:01,432 - did you see the monkey? - I saw the monkey. 90 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,901 What if my sight Went next? 91 00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:06,904 I'm bald, With no eyebrows, 92 00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:10,242 And I can't see. Would you still Go out with me? 93 00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,177 I'd stand by you. 94 00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,313 Of course, you Wouldn't know it. 95 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,985 Why don't you Go out and find Your own girlfriend? 96 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,356 With my schedule, Where would I Find the time? 97 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,193 Oh, my god. I have got 98 00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,529 The most brilliant idea. 99 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,930 You should contact A video dating service. 100 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,633 - you think? - yes! August, That's genius. 101 00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:38,403 In fact, I bet they're Open right now. 102 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,639 Yes. 103 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,708 Yes, yes. 104 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,711 There is a woman Out there with My name on her. 105 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,515 I will find her, 106 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,084 And nothing's Gonna to stop me, 107 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,920 Unless I get distracted By something shiny. 108 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:03,661 You look Lovely today. 109 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,196 Thank you. 110 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,965 - and you like everything else About me, too? - yes. 111 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:10,702 - have I done anything To upset you? - no. 112 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:14,038 Great, 'cause I'm really Trying to change For you, kevin. 113 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,107 I have been so bad. 114 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,443 Have you decided On a wine? 115 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,012 - what do you feel like? Red or white? - I don't know. 116 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,014 You decide. 117 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,449 We'll have A bottle of merlot. 118 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,685 We're out of bread. You want more bread? 119 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,621 I don't know. You decide. 120 00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,391 Is it cold in here, Or is it just me? 121 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,694 I don't know. You decide. 122 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,529 - what are you doing? - I don't know. 123 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,899 You decide. 124 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,767 If there's a problem here, Just say so. 125 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:45,070 Oh, there's no problem. I'm just trying To please you. 126 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,738 - would you just drop this? - something's wrong, Isn't it? 127 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,675 You like to play naive, But you know exactly What you're doing. 128 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:54,145 Back up. Is naive a good thing In a woman or a bad thing? 129 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,215 Are you trying To drag me into some Neofeminist debate? 130 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,716 I don't know. You decide! 131 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,587 Fine. I've decided. 132 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,523 Lunch is over. 133 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:11,630 Aw, listen, hon, There are other fish In the sea. 134 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:14,732 I don't want to hear About the specials, lady. 135 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,536 ( frog croaks ) 136 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:22,774 Hi, my name Is harry solomon. 137 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,910 My turn-ons are Sunshine, beach houses, 138 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,179 And baking bread With my blouse off. 139 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,383 - I wasn't rolling. - oh, I'm sorry. 140 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:34,886 All right, harry, This is all about 141 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,888 Just being yourself. 142 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,991 I want you to just Relax, act natural, 143 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,828 And have fun, okay? All right, here we go. 144 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,930 Okay. I was brought up... 145 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,333 ♪ on the backstreets ♪ 146 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:51,636 ♪ learned to love Before I could eat ♪ 147 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,906 ♪ educated, ow-ww! At woodstock ♪ 148 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:58,309 ♪ I'm a soul man! ♪ 149 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,979 Friday would be fine. Yeah, I see No problem with-- 150 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,716 I'll call you back. 151 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,920 ( beeping ) 152 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,756 ( phone rings ) 153 00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:14,092 - hello. - heh-woh. 154 00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:18,129 This is Mr. Poopie bear. 155 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,298 Is this my wittle Bunny face doll? 156 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:28,339 Hi, mr. Poopie bear. Is wou happy? 157 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,043 I'd be happier If I was in a big Snuggle buggle with wou. 158 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,745 ( laughs ) 159 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,214 - ( kisses ) - snuggle, snuggle, snuggle, snuggle, 160 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,882 Snuggle, snuggle. 161 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:41,653 - oh. - heh-woh? 162 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,822 heh-woh! 163 00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,758 Oh, heh-woh. 164 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,461 Dick, I need to talk. 165 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,198 - well, sure. - I just had a horrible Lunch with kevin. 166 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,667 - tell me what happened. - I tried to change for him, And he still got mad at me. 167 00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,037 - I thought I'd done Everything right. - I'm sure you did. 168 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:02,140 - what do you think He needs from me? - sally, sit down. 169 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:05,377 Honey, I'm a man, 170 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,945 And here's something That I've learned. 171 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,947 How can I put this? 172 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,884 Men... Are Completely incapable 173 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:16,053 Of talking about Relationships. 174 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:18,155 Here's two women. Dump on them. 175 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,333 ( both sigh ) 176 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,335 What does this Remind you of? 177 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:34,171 That time in vienna. 178 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,875 That waiter, 179 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,844 - those long walks. - and this coffee. 180 00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:41,679 Yeah. 181 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,384 - what's going on? - sally's tense. 182 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,520 I'm taking her away With flavored coffee. 183 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:53,124 Who am I kidding? I've never even Been to vienna! 184 00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:56,528 Well, this Is amaretto. 185 00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,530 A broken heart Demands mocha mint! 186 00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:01,432 I'm sorry. You can't blame me... 187 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,768 - sally, what's wrong? - look at these chairs. 188 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,271 I don't know If it's the fabric, Or the pattern, 189 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,940 Or that mr. Randell Hates me, or maybe We just need a couch. 190 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,108 - the fabric Is a bit loud. - it's mr. Randell. 191 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,577 Sally, please, Stop being so sad. 192 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,080 - I'm not sad. I'm angry. - then why are you leaking? 193 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:19,351 I don't know! It's a whole new leak. 194 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,154 My relationship with Mr. Randell is broken. 195 00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,957 No matter What I say to him, I can't fix it. 196 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,226 Stop saying, And start doing. 197 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,562 You've got to Have more sex. 198 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,966 More? I've never had Any, ever. 199 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,800 Ever? Well... 200 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,670 There's the black fly In your chardonnay. 201 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,175 You've got to start. 202 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,444 Sex fixes everything. 203 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:49,246 It's the neosporin Of amore. 204 00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:51,348 Uh... Dick, I don't Know about that. 205 00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,752 August says it's Very in nowadays to save Yourself for marriage. 206 00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,788 Could we please not Talk about marriage? 207 00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:00,124 - I can't even get through Dinner with this guy. - are you going to give up? 208 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,259 He's just not happy With me anymore. 209 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:05,330 You think you can Just walk out of here And find another man? 210 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:08,165 - I mean, really, Just look at yourself. - ( gasps ) what? 211 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:11,202 Oh, those Comically long legs, 212 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,472 That blindingly shiny hair, Those unruly breasts. 213 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,841 All right! I get the picture! 214 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,010 Sally, he seems Like a nice guy. 215 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,945 Maybe he'll do it Out of pity. 216 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,517 Are you sure? 217 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,519 Come here. I know the thought 218 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,521 Of giving yourself To someone 219 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,023 Is at once frightening And exciting, 220 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,025 But embrace it. 221 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,027 Let go of yourself. 222 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,431 I mean, dr. Albright Dove right in, and it Was her first time. 223 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,635 Um... Ahem-- Coffee, anyone? 224 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,007 Look, maybe you need A little something 225 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,042 To, uh... 226 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,143 To get you In the mood. 227 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,981 I have a movie That you can borrow. 228 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:02,119 "Homeward bound." 229 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:04,322 - is this Supposed to help? - couldn't hurt. 230 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,624 The scene where the cat Falls off the wet log... 231 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:12,964 You'll notice That part of the tape Is a little worn. 232 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,335 Here. Mocha mint for you. 233 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,604 - thanks, tommy. - yeah. ( clears throat ) 234 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,606 Personally, I think Dick's going 235 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,608 A little overboard With the whole thing. 236 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:27,478 You have to realize Making love to mr. Randell Is your decision. 237 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,947 You're right. 238 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,116 I'll do it. I mean, 239 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,620 What do I have to lose Except my virginity? 240 00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,555 Good-bye, mr. Hymen. 241 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,893 You're firing Our accountant? 242 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,797 Oh! 243 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,638 Man: what do you look for in the opposite sex, harry? 244 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,706 Harry: big bosoms... 245 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,708 and teeth. 246 00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,878 Harry, you're So natural And so sincere, 247 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,781 Not to mention Your features are Positively chiseled. 248 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,585 You know, I had No idea that you prefer One large meal a day, 249 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,588 - or that your favorite Color is clear. - clear. 250 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,292 Tommy... 251 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:18,129 ( all scream ) 252 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,332 - we have to talk. - august, are you okay? 253 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,636 I'll be all right. Fortunately, The hamster 254 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,604 Didn't have rabies. 255 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,276 - the hamster? - the hamster that Bit my nose off. 256 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,413 Yes, that's right, Tommy, 257 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,348 My nose is gone. 258 00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:42,720 So, I suppose you Want your ring back. 259 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:45,757 Uh... Well, no. 260 00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:47,859 Uh... Can't they, 261 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,595 Like, stick it Back on somehow? 262 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,965 And that would be The only way you'd Continue to see me? 263 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,000 With my nose back, That is? 264 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,336 No, I didn't Say that. Uh... 265 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,440 Uh... I guess we'll Just work through 266 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,408 This whole nose Thing together. 267 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,444 - no! - surprise! 268 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,248 I never should have Doubted you, tommy. 269 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,424 ( knocking ) 270 00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,729 ( knocking continues ) 271 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:27,397 - ( pounding ) - yeah! 272 00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:29,333 Yeah. 273 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:33,337 - hi, sally. - hi. 274 00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,041 I wasn't expecting To see you. 275 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,477 Well, you know me, 276 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,980 Little old Impulsive sally. 277 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:46,584 I've decided We need to take things To another level. 278 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:50,354 Sally, I think we have A lot of issues that Need to be resolved. 279 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,356 By another level, I mean this. 280 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,262 We can put those issues On the back burner For awhile. 281 00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,698 ( grunts ) 282 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,670 I really want To please you, kevin. 283 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,305 You didn't have to stop To tell me that. 284 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,410 This is going to fix Everything, right? 285 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,779 Well, it's going to fix A couple of things. 286 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,450 If it's not going To fix everything, Why are we doing it? 287 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,790 Okay, this wasn't My idea, sally. 288 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,727 It wasn't mine, either. It was my family's. 289 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,929 Your family convinced you To sleep with me? 290 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,265 Yeah, We really think You're worth it. 291 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,034 What am I, some kind Of experiment? 292 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,903 You make that sound Like a bad thing. 293 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,971 Why does everything Have to be so difficult With you? 294 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,474 If I'm so difficult, Why do you want to Have sex with me? 295 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,476 Because you're laying On top of me. 296 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,478 - that's your answer For everything. - I give up. 297 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,481 - you give up, good. That means I win. - no, you don't win. 298 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,650 - you win? - I don't win, either. 299 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,286 - no one wins? - no. 300 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,789 - this really sucks. - yes, it does. 301 00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,091 - I don't want To play anymore. - neither do I. 302 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,193 I think one of us Should leave. 303 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,734 And since this is Your apartment, 304 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:13,070 - I guess that Would be me. - good-bye. 305 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,348 You know, I've... 306 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,318 - never lost before. - I'm sorry. 307 00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:36,059 ( loud explosion ) 308 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,061 Tell me What happened. 309 00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:41,899 I went over there to fix Things, and instead I ruined everything. 310 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:45,069 And the worst part is, I'm still a virgin. 311 00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:47,572 Oh, my god. You're a virgin? 312 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:50,941 Yes, I know. It's horrible. 313 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,877 No, no, no, no, It's wonderful. 314 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,813 It is? 315 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:59,217 Yes. It's perfectly All right to save yourself For the right man. 316 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,152 like you did for dick? 317 00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,563 Yes. 318 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,867 The point is, Breaking up with Kevin was smart. 319 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,036 He wanted you to be Something you're not, 320 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,205 And you're fine Just the way you are. 321 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,207 I like you, sally. 322 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,843 I didn't know You liked me. 323 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,912 Well, I do. 324 00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,914 You're a strong, Opinionated, 325 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,983 Intelligent Young woman. 326 00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:34,318 Unpredictable at times, A little scary, 327 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,486 But, hell, That's you. 328 00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:38,489 That is me. 329 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:42,159 I like me, too, But why didn't Mr. Randell? 330 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,830 Well, he's just not The right guy for you. But you'll find someone. 331 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,499 I mean, just look at you. Those legs, that hair-- 332 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,769 Please! I've been Dragged through The muck enough today. 333 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:59,376 Just chalk this up To experience. 334 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,712 Thanks, dr. Albright. 335 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,614 You're so nice. 336 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,949 I always thought You were such a bitch. 337 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,022 Oh, I am, 338 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,857 But, hell, 339 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,626 That's me. 340 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,236 ( blues music playing ) 341 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,911 ( coughs ) 342 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,186 - well, hello. - hi. 343 00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,622 I gotta say, I'm shocked. 344 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:48,025 That videotape Did not do you justice. 345 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,993 What videotape? 346 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,765 Oh. 347 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:57,101 That must be lydia. 348 00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,104 A little more knuckle hair Than I had hoped for, 349 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:03,674 But... A guy has got To start somewhere. 350 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,183 ( all inhale ) 351 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,851 ( all sigh ) 352 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,120 You know What this coffee Reminds me of? 353 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,555 That little cafe In amsterdam? 354 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,158 No, that I used The coffee pot To drain the freon 355 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,327 Out of the air Conditioner. 356 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,529 All: Yeah. 357 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,765 It's a beautiful Morning, isn't it? 358 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:30,334 The birds are chirping. The sky is blue. 359 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,970 You're awfully cheery, Considering you just Lost your boyfriend. 360 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:36,273 - I'm okay. - you know, I feel Sorry for you. 361 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,609 This afternoon, I'm going shopping For drapes 362 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,379 With dr. Albright, And you'll be alone. 363 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,448 And tomorrow I'm taking dr. Albright To the recycling center, 364 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:46,383 And you'll be alone. 365 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:49,320 The way I look at it, Dick, I'm embarking On an adventure. 366 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:52,055 The dating world is like A huge food court for me, 367 00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,525 And I can take My little red tray Anywhere I like. 368 00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:58,028 I don't follow. 369 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,731 You see, dick, It's like, with you, 370 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:04,635 You know you're Going to have grilled Cheese every day, 371 00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,870 Day after day 372 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,573 After day After day. 373 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,409 But me, tonight I might go italian. 374 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,512 Tomorrow, greek. Next week, who knows? 375 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,180 Mexican, chinese-- 376 00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,115 Hot dog on a stick. 377 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,420 Hey, harry, 378 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:25,055 Come on, It's singles day At the mall. 379 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,990 Lock and load. 380 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,729 Grilled cheese. 381 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,865 Tommy, 382 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,700 We're late. 383 00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,636 Enjoy your lunch. 384 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,374 Yeah, you, too. 385 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,316 God, I love Grilled cheese. 386 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,990 Yeah. 387 00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:00,992 I could eat it Every day. 388 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:06,197 Day after day After day After day. 389 00:21:06,199 --> 00:21:08,799 Mmm! 390 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:11,368 Hey, do you have Any sliced tomatoes? 391 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,971 Yes! Yes, we do! 392 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:25,883 Perfect mate has hundreds Of compatible people For you. 393 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:30,687 - let's go. - my name is sally, 394 00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:32,823 And I'm strong, Loud, opinionated, 395 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:35,125 And aggressive. 396 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,895 I'm a big, angry virgin, And I'm happy about it. 397 00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:41,231 Oh, and I also enjoy walking Barefoot in the sand, 398 00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,000 And the poems Of rod mckuen. 399 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,236 So, if you're Man enough for me, 400 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:48,171 Let's make a date.